“Birth is a moment of ultimate power and surrender. Telling women that power is offensive sends a really damaging message” Katie Vigos – Empowered Birth Project
I really wanted to share my VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) journey with you all, to hopefully give some encouragement to other mums out there who may be looking at going down the VBAC path, or even just some advice and encouragement for all mums to be for labour and post birth.
I do believe there were a lot of certain measures I took that helped me achieve my desired VBAC, and after a 36 hour labor that ended in an emergency CS after failure to progress, I didn’t want to go through that again, my recovery was pretty horrible to say the least and that's the reason I was passionate about having a natural birth, it wasn't so much about the "feeling" of birthing naturally, it was to avoid the pain and PTSD I had experienced with the CS.
DURING PREGNANCY - Tips and Tricks
Research research research EVERYTHING you can about your rights, and everything VBAC. The amount of time I spent googling and reading articles and forums was probably pretty ridiculous. I joined the Facebook page “VBAC Australia Support Group” which had a huge amount of information and there’s some very very knowledgeable women in that group, at first you may feel overwhelmed, I just sat back and read a lot rather than joining in discussion. You will be surprised at how many things are unnecessary when it comes to birth and how little intervention is needed, and how you can actually say NO, and not feel pressured. Always remember “Knowledge Is Power”
It pays to have a supportive OB GYN or doctor on your side. Listen to what they have to say and risks involved, as there's so many prerequisites as to why you may not be able to have a VBAC, and everyone's will be different. For my personal situation there was no actual reason I couldn't have a natural birth. If you feel like your not gelling with your doctor, get a second opinion! How you feel about your pending birth, and the previous experience you've had MATTERS, don't feel otherwise.
Type a detailed birth plan and make sure you show it to your OB and midwife team well and truly before your due date and make sure they are well aware of your wishes. Don’t be afraid to ask them each time if they are familiar with your plan and don’t feel silly or intimidated by what’s written in your plan. I also typed up an “at home” labour plan for my partner so he knew exactly what I wanted to happen while I was home, with notes about contraction times, what happens if I can’t speak/communicate, because in the intense pain of labour some people cannot talk or communicate at all. He thought it helped amazingly, so ladies, maybe an idea to get your partner familiar with your wishes, and as we know some men have terrible memories, so write that stuff down and make sure they are familiar with it.
I would highly recommend looking into hypnobirthing (plenty of free online material and resources), and practicing meditation or yoga throughout pregnancy. I took 1 yoga class a week right up until 39 weeks pregnant, and if you can, start doing them before you decide to get pregnant. Yoga helps improve strength, balance and flexibility, helps with back pain, relaxes you and aiding in a better sleep, improves energy, helps manage stress. It’s amazing how in tune with your body you become when you strengthen your mind with meditation too.
In the weeks leading up to my birth, I had Bowen therapy, acupuncture and reflexology to help make sure my body was aligned the way it needed to be for the delivery suite. The night before my due date I decided to use an essential oil blend of clary sage and almond oil which my partner massaged into my body while I was surrounded by dim candle light and listening to yoga music. *Clary sage oil is known to bring on labour, please be wary when using any essential oils.
QUE THE BIRTH STORY
Low and behold the next morning I woke around 7am with a funny urge to go to the toilet. As I stood up my waters started breaking and it felt like I had wet my pants, I quickly rushed to the toilet as more came out then suddenly stopped. I popped a maternity pad in and went into the kitchen to tell my partner and daughter that today was the day.
It was such a relaxed morning as they sat and ate breaky while I laughed about the fluid continuously gushing out from my body, onto the floor at one stage, I wasn’t in any pain just really excited as I knew today was the day. I didn’t experience any of this with my first so it was really exciting.
My partner drove our daughter, Stevie, out to his parents house and to no surprise had to quickly call into a work job on the way home. I managed to shower, have breakfast, put some makeup on (just made me feel “normal and pretty”) and organized all the hospital bags, as I didn’t have most of it packed. When he got home around 11am we rang the hospital to let them know and they wanted us to come in so they could observe me for an hour which we agreed to and everything was fine so we came back home around 1pm. *The observation was just laying on the bed while hooked up to the machines so they could monitor the baby, I didn’t have any internal checks.
CONTRACTION PHASE 1pm-5pm
When we arrived home I put on my yoga/meditation playlist which I had downloaded onto an app and shut all the curtains, lit candles and bounced on my ball with a heat pack.. my contractions started getting worse and more painful at one stage I was stuck lop sided on the couch not being able to move. Matt ran me a warm bath which I moved into, but as my pains worsened it was not comfortable at all. After about half an hour in there, we had noticed blood in the water and I had a sudden urge to push. Matt was freaking out as I wasn’t talking or responding to him and he was about to call an ambulance as I was literally stuck in the bath and couldn’t get out. It took about 20 – 30 minutes for me to get enough strength and energy to get out, clothed and into the car. AT THE HOSPITAL 5pm – birth The drive to hospital is always the worst part, stuck in the passenger seat uncomfortable as hell, thank goodness it was only a 5 minute drive. On arrival I had to be hooked up to wireless monitoring which didn’t bother me at all as I had previously given the ok for that, but the hardest part was when they needed me to be up on the bed and staying as still as possible for what felt like an hour while they recorded what was going on. I had all the lights dimmed, candles lit, and my selection of yoga/meditation music playing lightly in the background.
One thing I didn’t like, and felt extreme pressure to give in to was having a drip needle put in my hand. I stated I didn’t want it, I didn’t need it (they put it in early in case you have to be rushed off for an emergency csection) but the midwife was very pushy to the point of making me feel very uncomfortable. I ended up agreeing but said I didn’t want it in my hand I was happy to have it in my lower forearm in which the midwife didn’t like, didn’t recommend and told me they don’t really do it there, but I stood my ground and said I wasn’t having it in my hand and if she didn’t agree I wasn’t having one at all. The reason I didn’t want it in my hand was because it can restrict your movement and get it in the way for certain birthing positions such as being on your hands and knees.
I moved onto the bouncing ball which is where I felt most comfortable, leaning over the bed. I tried the tens machine which did nothing for me so straight to the gas it was. I still had urges to push for such a long time, it honestly felt like I needed to push a watermelon out my bum, the pressure was crazy.
Time passed and my doctor entered the room, at this point I had only 1 midwife (a new one) in the room, but she made herself scarce throughout as that's what I had requested on my birth plan, to have minimal people in the room unless absolutely necessary. The doctor asked if I was happy for her to check my dilation in which I let her as I hadn’t had any checks by this stage. She proceeded to conduct an internal examination and only got to about 2-3cm and happily said “well there’s the head, baby right there and you're about 8cm dilated, this baby is coming very very soon” Obviously these are the words any woman in labor wants to hear, I was so excited.
As my contractions worsened, I got down onto a mat on the floor on my knees but still leaning over the bed, pushing after each contraction, this stage went for about 45 minutes to 1 hour and was very intense. I had my partner, a midwife and my doctor in the room and after a several big pushes, he caught the baby and shouted “ITS A BOY” and passed him straight over to me.
Suddenly all the pain was gone, it was such a huge relief and when people ask what does giving birth feel like, as dramatic and scary as this sounds, the baby coming out felt like all my insides fell out of my body, but in a good way.
I moved on to the bed, my doctor checked me for stitches, luckily I didn’t need any, but I had a lot of grazing, and a lot of hemorrhoid's from so much intense pushing (good god those things are painful, and extremely common during childbirth). After all the checks and waiting for the placenta to deliver, I had a much needed shower, hopped into my Pajamas, and into bed around 11pm but didn’t get much sleep that night as I was still filled with so much adrenaline.
THE 4th TRIMESTER-
Yes, the 4th trimester is part of the pregnancy and birth process. This stage is one no one seems to talk much about, well I found anyway. People tend to bottle it up, like they are ashamed and don’t want to talk about it, I mean it always seems focused on the baby, sleep and breastfeeding. It’s a stage where emotions and hormones run wild, your body is in pain, your sleep deprived, you question yourself on the daily, and even though you have a new bundle of life to take care of and is with you every second of the day, it can be isolating and you can feel very alone and overwhelmed.
During my recovery I developed a staph infection in my nipples which meant it constantly felt like someone was slicing my nipples off with a knife, the pain was excruciating. I had to try and express while Raffy took to a bottle for a bout 5 days until my infection cleared up. Then I had the battle to get him back latching on the breast again, which thankfully he took to. I constantly walked around with no bra on because even the touch of the fabric was horrible.
Every time I went to the toilet to wee, I had to fill up a pump drink bottle with warm water and use it to squirt on my vagina to help with the strong acidity of the urine on my grazing. I’ve actually heard grazing can be worse than stitches for this reason, as there’s still so much blood and fresh exposed skin whereas with stitches it’s all cleaned up nicely. The water bottle trick was an absolute godsend, and I highly recommend, just make sure you label the bottle, haha.
On day 7 I had the worst pain in my vagina when wee’ing, it felt like acid was being poured down there 😱 I decided to do a little inspection with the mirror and to my absolute HORROR I had noticed on the inside of my vagina wall, was a big bulge that had fused onto the skin on the other side of my vagina wall….. I was petrified to say the least, in tears, my thoughts were “holey #### my vagina is fusing together and closing up” – yep dramatic I know, but I was literally in shock and so frightened.
So at 7.30pm, I drove straight to emergency for an inspection, the doctor was called in, and luckily for me he was able to “unstick it” and sent me home with some special cream. For the next day or two the only way I could wee was to fill up the bath and wee in there (gross I know but you gotta do what you gotta do) After further inspection from my doctor it was found to be a hematoma which is a large growth/lump the size of a golf ball, brought on by trauma, which was pushing the skin on one side across to the other side but it went away on its own after about 4-6 months. I did get a referral to see a Gynecologist, but from memory I didn't follow up on it, which was probably a bit silly, but as it wasn't causing anymore grief and I was in the depths on newborn hood, so it wasn't a priority.
After 4-6 weeks I was feeling good enough to get out and about again and feeling a lot more human again.
I hoped you enjoyed reading my birth experience and I hope I haven't terrified you, birth really is the most empowering moment of a women’s life and I felt absolutely amazing giving birth. We really are such powerful creatures and I hope my story has given some insight into what birth and recovery can be like, and the tips for achieving a VBAC were helpful. Please remember, that even though many many women give birth every single day, everything you experience and feel, before, during and after birth matters.
The Post Natal period is listed as being 6 weeks post birth, but sometimes issues and complications can last a lot longer, and even life long. Please seek professional help if your not feeling like yourself.
*Experiences in this article are my own and do not replace that of a qualified medical practitioner.
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